False or Real Expectations
What is the difference between the false and the real? It seems like a logical no-brainer question with a logical no-brainer answer. However, today many false things are passed off as real. This concept of no absolutes, and whatever is real is what I say is real, leaves us with confused expectations, caught between the false and the real.
For example, it used to be obvious that if a person did the right thing by reporting the truth, they would be applauded, even rewarded for their job. But nowadays, reporting the truth, if it does not agree with the cultural lie, can land a person in jail. The expectation was that the truth would prevail, but on the earth, a lie often prevails.
Have you noticed that the world is full of people who make promises but fail to keep them? Most people mean well when they make a promise or commitment. The expectation is that they will hold to it. So, when they don’t at the very least, we are disappointed, and at the worst, it is hard to trust again. What we can learn not just from others, but from our well-meaning promises, is that we often fall short of delivering valued expectations. We can define expectation as to await, to look forward to, and to hope for the promise made. But we all fall short!
Speaking of falling, let’s look at an account in II Samuel 4:4. Here we have Jonathan’s son and his nurse carrying Mephibosheth (who was 5 years old) with the expectation of a safe escape. In her panic and hurry she drops the child which causes him to be lame. The expectation was that she would care for him. Now that the child’s grandfather and father were dead, it was her job to get the child to safety to prevent his death. We can apply this to our lives as well.
Our expectations of others can also become false expectations. Like the child’s nurse, our expectations shatter because of:
1. Unforeseen circumstances
2. A change of mind or will
3. Evil systems in our culture
4. Evil people in our lives
Can you add more to this list?
Back to the account of Mephibosheth. We have a 5-year-old in hiding, growing up lame as his father’s best friend becomes king. Some time passes as David sets up his earthly kingdom and he remembers his friendship with Jonathan. He asks a question. “Is there anyone who is left of the house of Saul that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” This was not an out-of-the-blue question. Earlier, Jonathan and David have a conversation that goes something like this; Hey, if my father means evil towards you, I will let you know, but only show kindness towards me so that I may live and not die, and do not cut off your kindness from my house – forever. It became a vow between the two of them (I Samuel 20:14,15, II Samuel 9:1-7).
David kept his vow and delivered on Jonathan’s expectations even after his death. King David sent for Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth who came in fear only to learn of the commitment David made with his father Jonathan. King David said, “Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan’s sake and will restore to you all the land of Saul your grandfather and you shall eat bread at my table continually!”
I see four things here that were unexpected expectations for Mephibosheth:
1. David showed kindness, being a friend, not an enemy
2. Restoration of what was lost during the war
3. Provision at the king’s table continually
4. Adoption into the family, treated as one of the king’s sons
What a wonderful account of fulfilled promises, beyond expectations. We can rightly conclude that Mephibosheth neither expected what he received nor thought he deserved it.
Let’s flip this to today and our own lives. The first move we can make is to shift our expectations from others to our Father God. All of His promises are yes and amen. (II Corinthians 1:20). If God said it, He will do it. If you don’t know what His promises are you can start with the same ones He did through David for Mephibosheth.
As followers of Christ, we base our truth, also called absolutes, on God and His Word. This focus allows us to offer grace to ourselves when we fail and mercy to others when they fall short.
In addition, we can expect God:
1. To carry us through every circumstance. He is God despite the circumstances (Psalm 139:5)
2. He is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever (Heb. 13:8).
3. He will never leave you – ever (Heb. 13:5-6).
If all of this seems illusive and hard to grasp, stay with me and next week we will talk about how we can not only trust God that His promises are true but learn to walk with Him daily expecting Him to deliver on His promises.
Let’s be people of our word and especially of God’s Word, keeping it in our minds, hearts, and mouths.
Until next week, remember, the matter of the heart is the heart of the matter.
Dr. Michele
July 14, 2024
